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My Angel Paul
laurageb - 01:37pm Mar 10, 2010 EST
I wanted to share my story, hoping that talking about it helps.
My nightmare started Feb. 21, 2010. I woke up this Sunday morning and was not feeling Paul move like he usually did. We got dressed to go to church, but on the way decided to go to the hospital to get checked out.
When we got there they put me on the monitors, and to our relief Paul had a very strong heartbeat. We were there about an hour or two when the doctor came in and said that he had to be delivered right now. Apparently although he had a good heartbeat, it was flat and non-reactive. So in a matter of minutes they were delivering my baby 9 weeks early. I was at 28 weeks, and had a planned c-section for 37 weeks.
We knew of a heart defect that Paul had, but we were expecting that with surgery he would fine. Because of this known heart problem and his prematurity the hospital I was at transferred Paul to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital NICU. As all this was going on Both Paul and I went into what is known as DIC. I was bleeding to death and so was my sweet baby.
After Paul arrived at the NICU the doctors examined him, did ultrasounds of his brain and his heart. Paul was suffering from two grade four bleeds in his brain, plus bleeding else where in his body. He was not expected to live thru that first night. So they finally got me stable and transferred me to Vanderbilt. When I finally got to see paul he was doing a little better, but was still very sick.
The next morning Pauls doctor came in and gave us the worst news possible, that there is no chance of Paul surviving. His heart defect was alot worse then originally thought, and his heart was not compatible with life. Also his brain bleeds had pretty much taken over his brain. We needed to make the decision to continue with or withdraw care. This was the hardest decision I have ever made but knowing because of his heart the machines were keeping him alive I knew what I had to do. We made the decision to withdraw care. So on Feb 22, 2010 our precious baby Paul went to be with our lord.
They brought Paul to my room so we could hold him, and our other children could see him. There they took out his breathing tube, and I held him until he passed, about five minutes. I live every day since wondering if I made the right decision.
The genetics doctor called last night to tell us Pauls test results are in, can we come in for a meeting. As much as I want to know what happened, I can not bring myself to go back to the childrens hospital.
With all this with Paul, my health took a downward spiral, and almost three weeks later I am still recovering from the birth and problems that followed.
I wanted to share my story, hoping that talking about it helps.
My nightmare started Feb. 21, 2010. I woke up this Sunday morning and was not feeling Paul move like he usually did. We got dressed to go to church, but on the way decided to go to the hospital to get checked out.
When we got there they put me on the monitors, and to our relief Paul had a very strong heartbeat. We were there about an hour or two when the doctor came in and said that he had to be delivered right now. Apparently although he had a good heartbeat, it was flat and non-reactive. So in a matter of minutes they were delivering my baby 9 weeks early. I was at 28 weeks, and had a planned c-section for 37 weeks.
We knew of a heart defect that Paul had, but we were expecting that with surgery he would fine. Because of this known heart problem and his prematurity the hospital I was at transferred Paul to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital NICU. As all this was going on Both Paul and I went into what is known as DIC. I was bleeding to death and so was my sweet baby.
After Paul arrived at the NICU the doctors examined him, did ultrasounds of his brain and his heart. Paul was suffering from two grade four bleeds in his brain, plus bleeding else where in his body. He was not expected to live thru that first night. So they finally got me stable and transferred me to Vanderbilt. When I finally got to see paul he was doing a little better, but was still very sick.
The next morning Pauls doctor came in and gave us the worst news possible, that there is no chance of Paul surviving. His heart defect was alot worse then originally thought, and his heart was not compatible with life. Also his brain bleeds had pretty much taken over his brain. We needed to make the decision to continue with or withdraw care. This was the hardest decision I have ever made but knowing because of his heart the machines were keeping him alive I knew what I had to do. We made the decision to withdraw care. So on Feb 22, 2010 our precious baby Paul went to be with our lord.
They brought Paul to my room so we could hold him, and our other children could see him. There they took out his breathing tube, and I held him until he passed, about five minutes. I live every day since wondering if I made the right decision.
The genetics doctor called last night to tell us Pauls test results are in, can we come in for a meeting. As much as I want to know what happened, I can not bring myself to go back to the childrens hospital.
With all this with Paul, my health took a downward spiral, and almost three weeks later I am still recovering from the birth and problems that followed.
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